Adolescence — From Child to Adult

WHEN ARE PEOPLE MARRIED IN GOD’S SIGHT? 

or

HOW FAR, SEXUALLY, CAN PEOPLE GO BEFORE MARRIAGE?

Song of Solomon 3:6-11

Is it all right for Christians to hug and kiss before marriage? What is all right sexually and what isn’t? We know sexual intercourse is forbidden (Dt. 22:13-30; Ex. 22:16) because it creates a unique oneness in God’s sight (Gen. 2:24; I Cor. 6:16). Does this in itself constitute marriage? Just what does God look for in a couple to consider them married in His sight? The sexual union alone? Must one have paperwork (a wedding license) also? Let’s see what God says:

WHY GOD FORBIDS SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

In her reminisce, Shulamith remembers when Solomon sent for her, to have her escorted to Jerusalem in splendor for their wedding (Song of Sol. 3:6-11). They obviously have not been living together before marriage, nor (as becomes evident later) have they had sex; for both are virgins. God’s word commands such restraint, not merely to take away our ‘fun’, but for our own benefit. God made sex to be His wedding gift to us: just like a parachute only breaks someone’s fall from an airplane, not the roof of a house, so sex only performs its proper function within the bounds of marriage. God created sex to be a picture of our union with him (Eph. 5:22-31), the closest earthly experience to heaven. This can only follow a life-long commitment (salvation with God; marriage with mate). Sex is such a wonderful, powerful thing that it can only come AFTER a couple has grown to have a deep understanding and commitment, culminating in marriage. When it enters before that it short-circuits further emotional growth and oneness in a couple: it will ‘carry’ a relationship for awhile, but substitutes for the rock-solid foundation of communication every relationship needs. That’s why the divorce rate among those who live together before marriage is much higher than among those who don’t. As Christians, God Himself lives in us; we are His temple (I Cor. 3:16-17). Hence, Satan uses this powerful force to tempt to sin (Gal. 5:19). We are to live by self control, a fruit of the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 6:12-13). Remember, for every temptation God provides a way out (I Cor. 10:13).

Its easy to know and believe that sex before marriage is forbidden, and for good reasons. But what of other expressions of love, sexual or otherwise? There’s a lot in between of shaking hands and sex — where do we draw the line? How far did Shulamith and Solomon go before getting married?

DON’T AROUSE YOUR SEXUALITY IN ANY WAY

The Song of Solomon repeatedly says “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” (2:7; 3:5; 8:4). In other words, don’t do ANYTHING to arouse the other person. Don’t start anything you can’t finish! . In fact, its not so much what you do but how you do it. Hugging, kissing, holding hands, a caress of an arm or face, even talking — all can be innocent ways of showing love, or done in such a way as to attain a sensual response. It is the latter that is always and totally wrong. Sex is like nitroglycerin – don’t play around with it in any way until marriage. In marriage it is safe, outside – albeit seeming innocent – it is very dangerous!

We must remember that everything we do must be for God’s glory (I Cor. 6:20) and we must in good conscience be able to ask God to bless whatever we do (Col. 3:17). All we do should help us grow spiritually (Heb. 12:1). We are required to have a pure testimony to unbelievers (Col. 4:5) and believers (I Cor. 8:7-13). We are to be like Jesus, so ask yourself: “Would Jesus do this?” Furthermore, think of your future mate. What standards would you like her or him to keep? Or how would you like your brother or sister to act? Apply those same standards to yourself.

WHAT CONSTITUTES MARRIAGE IN GOD’S SIGHT?

Sexual intercourse evokes a special oneness in the people involved (Gen. 2:24; Mt. 19:5-6). Paul goes so far to say that sex even with a prostitute creates this very same bond (I Cor. 6:15-16). But does this mean that everyone that has sex is married in God’s eyes? Whilst this is one ingredient that creates a marriage in God’s sight, it is not the only one.

A public commitment is also necessary. We are to follow the legislative guidelines instituted by our respective governments (Romans 13), thus entailing legal paperwork and making vows before an authorized person. People cannot avoid this yet still claim to be married. For the Christian it should be more than the minimum justice of the peace: it should be done with God’s people, sharing the blessing with them and wanting their help and support. It must be public.

Before the “one flesh” passage in Gen. 2:24 comes a condition to be met first: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” “Leave” is a strong word, meaning to forsake or abandon. We must leave our relationship with our parents (but not our responsibility to help them and treat them with love and kindness). In my opinion the biggest cause of marriage problems comes from one or both people still needing their parent’s approval and acceptance. Distance and even death do not break this pull. If basic emotional needs of love, acceptance and approval are not met by parents in childhood, children grow up to look for other ways of meeting them. Bringing them to Jesus is the only successful, healthy way. Substitutes include trying to earn approval by doing what the parent would want, going to the opposite extreme and doing the opposite of what the parent would want, looking for status and recognition in other ways (career, mate, children, sex, appearance, money, status, education, accomplishment, overwork, etc.). Admit these tendencies and needs to God, ask Him to forgive and heal from the past. Develop healthy, wholesome, positive relationships with true, open intimacy. Allow others to know the real you so you can feel this acceptance and love. Go for counseling if necessary. These things MUST be worked through before marriage. You can’t ‘give’ yourself to your mate unless you ‘have’ yourself to give. These unmet needs are strings attaching you to the past and making you unable to truly give yourself to your mate. This WILL undermine any relationship!

After “leave” God says to “cleave” or “be united.” This in Hebrew means to cling closely. Its used of skin to bone. This 100% total commitment is a must for a marriage to succeed, and God expects His children to make this kind of commitment to each other. THEN comes the “one flesh” – physically, emotionally and spiritually. Please note that this isn’t an instant event, a once-and-done happening. “Shall be” is progressive. It takes TIME to truly be ‘one flesh’ in all its dimensions and implications.

Wherever you find yourself in the marriage process (single, engaged, newly married, long-time married) its never too late to get on God’s path. Confess the past, ask for healing and restoration, and start applying what you now know to your present relationship. Forget the past and press ahead in Jesus (Philippians 3:13). He’ll guide you each step of the way!

Love, Marriage & Sex in the Song of Solomon
by Rev. Dr. Jerry Schmoyer, Christian Training Organization © 1997

A cover-up Scripture tattoo…are you a dog returning to it’s vomit? Think again!

JESUS is the Word … and both Jesus and the Word are ALIVE. Tattoos are a manifestation of worshiping the dead.

They mark the body providing a gateway for demonisation.
Getting them on the back of the neck or some other contemporarily ‘sensual’ place is sealing a pathway for an incubus or succubus.
Animals – open gateways to animistic demons
Newage symbols – to being used by demonic fallen angels

You are known by the company you keep … make sure you and your children opt for God as your company!

When you get a tattoo, you are IDENTIFYING yourself with the lost world, because that’s where tattoos originated. Tattoos didn’t originate from the Bible; but from the heathen unsaved world.

Second, what type of people usually get tattoos? There is a common trend nowadays amongst worldly women to have a tattoo placed on their lower back, just above their buttocks, and also on their ankle. Tattoos are very common amongst prostitutes. Tattoos are very common amongst homosexuals. Tattoos are very common amongst witches and in the Goth crowd. Tattoos are very common amongst street gangs and punks. I don’t know of any Christ-honoring Christians who have had tattoos placed on their body. I do know some Christians who have tattoos on their body from their sinful past, and they have told me that Satan had control of their life before they were saved; but I don’t know of ANY Bible-believing Christians who’ve been tattooed while close to the Lord. Say what you will–tattoos have always been obtained from WORLDLY establishments.

Thirdly, not one Christian in the entire Bible ever received a tattoo. Not one! Jesus never wore a tattoo! None of the Apostles wore tattoos. How ridiculous and absurd to claim that God approves of tattoos, when Leviticus 19:18 clearly prohibits such demonic practices, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.” Having lived in Chicago for most of my life, and having evangelized to the inner-city for over 20 years, I can assure you that tattoos are marks of Satan. Tattoos are common amongst criminals, street gangs, and prostitutes. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve never known a God-fearing Christian to go get a tattoo. The origin of the tattoo is paganism.

Fourthly, tattoos are popular today because of the rock-n-roll idols who wear them. As seen in the photo above from one of Ozzy Osbourne’s band members, rock-n-roll music and tattoos are synonymous. You won’t seen any popular heathens carrying God’s Word; but most of them have tattoos!

To allow a tattoo to be imprinted on your body is to defile your flesh with a mark of Satan. Please consider this important thought … If God wanted us to have marks on our body, He would have put them there. If God wanted people to smoke cigarettes, then He would have put a chimney on top of our head. Marks on the body have always been associated with sin and slavery. It’s crazy! Satan would love to murder children; but people abort their own children voluntarily. Satan would love to destroy our health; but people smoke themselves into a wheelchair voluntarily. Satan would love to place his mark upon us; but people do it voluntarily. Satan inspires people to destroy themselves, and people are stupid enough to do it. Frankly, getting a tattoo is stupid. A lot of people don’t like themselves, and getting a tattoo identifies them with the lowlifes of this world. In a strange way, it makes them feel accepted. Many people get tattoos to identify, relate, and find acceptance with the worldly crowd.

Fifthly, what types of images are tattooed on people. Many of the images are snakes, dragons, grim reapers, naked women, curse words, skulls, and other vile images. I realize that some people legitimately want a tattoo to remember the death of a loved one, and many of the images are not vulgar; however, the FACT remains that tattoos originated with the wicked. Our bodies belong to God, and we should not desecrate the sacredness of the body. The believer’s body is holy, sanctified unto the Lord. We read in 2nd Corinthians 6:20, “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” If God approved of marks on the body, then He would have said so in the Bible. Since the Bible clearly states that it was a heathen practice in Leviticus 19:28 to get a tattoo, we would be sinful and foolish to think otherwise. The bottom line is that tattoos are far more POPULAR amongst SATAN’S CROWD!

Sixth, where are people getting tattoos? Many tattoos are nowadays being placed in the genital and private places on the body. There is a definite sexual connection with the tattoo industry. In addition, it is wickedness for a male tattoo artist (which most of them are) to look upon a female’s naked body in order to paint a tattoo upon her. We are living in a sex-perverted generation, where fornication is so commonplace that many men and women have lost respect for their bodies. This is especially true of women. Such women are far more likely to commit further whoredom, get tattoos, and live in sexual sin. The fact that many people are getting tattoos in their private places speaks volumes concerning the nature of tattoos.

Seventh, tattoos are an unwise decision for health reasons. Here’s some FACTS that the local tattoo shop WON’T dare tell you…

FDA Warnings for Healthy Consumers

The U.S. Food and Drug administration lists the following risk warnings concerning tattoos. [2]

Infection. Even with the use of a new needle, tattooing equipment is still difficult to sterilize. When equipment is not sterile is used, there is an increased the risk of transmitting bloodborne disease such as hepatitis or HIV. Because of these infection risks, the American Association of Blood Banks requires a one-year wait between getting a tattoo and donating blood.

Allergic reactions. Although allergic reactions to tattoo pigments are rare; however when they do occur, they may be particularly troublesome because the pigments can be hard to remove. Occasionally, people can develop an allergic reaction to tattoos they have had for years.

MRI complications. There have been reports of people with tattoos or permanent makeup who experienced swelling or burning in the affected areas when they underwent magnetic resonance imaging (MRI).

Removal problems. The most common problem with tattoos is costumer dissatisfaction. Despite advances in laser technology, removing a tattoo is a painstaking process, usually involving several treatments and considerable expense.

Written by Jaime H. Rivera